วันจันทร์ที่ 16 กรกฎาคม พ.ศ. 2555

Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationshipsuper



Product Description

The first love in our lives is our mother. Recognizing her face, her voice, the meaning of her moods, and her facial expressions is crucial to survival. Dr. Christine Ann Lawson vividly describes how mothers who suffer from borderline personality disorder produce children who may flounder in life even as adults, futilely struggling to reach the safety of a parental harbor, unable to recognize that their borderline parent lacks a pier, or even a discernible shore.

Four character profiles describe different symptom clusters that include the waif mother, the hermit mother, the queen mother, and the witch. Children of borderlines are at risk for developing this complex and devastating personality disorder themselves. Dr. Lawson's recommendations for prevention include empathic understanding of the borderline mother and early intervention with her children to ground them in reality and counteract the often dangerous effects of living with a "make-believe" mother.

Some readers may recognize their mothers as well as themselves in this book. They will also find specific suggestions for creating healthier relationships. Addressing the adult children of borderlines and the therapists who work with them, Dr. Lawson shows how to care for the waif without rescuing her, to attend to the hermit without feeding her fear, to love the queen without becoming her subject, and to live with the witch without becoming her victim.
A Jason Aronson Book





List Price :$49.95 Price
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    Reviews


    Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship Reviews


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    Average Customer Review
    166 Reviews
    5 star:
    		 (129)
    4 star:
    		 (21)
    3 star:
    		 (6)
    2 star:
    		 (6)
    1 star:
    		 (4)
     
     
    		 

    606 of 612 people found the following review helpful
    5.0 out of 5 stars An extraordinary find for children of Borderline mothers, November 15, 2002
    By 
    bonniecarrine (Springfield, MA United States) - See all my reviews
    First of all, I was impressed that all 18 of the previous reviews gave this book 5 stars.

    This book is the only one I've ever seen that specifically addresses the unique challenges and frustrations faced by children raised by mothers with Borderline Personality Disorder, and it couldn't have been any higher quality. It is truly an outstanding book. The author provides information that is well organized, highly comprehensive, practical, and useful.

    I am so grateful that this book was written, because as I can attest, children raised by Borderline mothers are in desperate need of support and understanding. They grow up in a world that is contradictory and emotionally confusing. The following thoughts are common among children with borderline mothers:
    1. "I never know what to expect."
    2. "I don't trust her."
    3. "She says it didn't happen."
    4. "She makes me feel terrible."
    5. "Everyone else thinks she's great."
    6. "It's all or nothing."
    7. "She's so... Read more

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    431 of 436 people found the following review helpful
    5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely necessary, January 30, 2006
    By 
    Ms. Standfast (Arlington, VA USA) - See all my reviews
    This review is from: Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship (Paperback)
    I have to laugh when I survey some of the critical reviews below, which claim this book is "imaginative literature" or is unhelpful because it has a "negative view" of borderline mothers. I can only conclude that anyone who finds this book overly imaginative or negative did not have the pleasure of growing up under the reign of terror inflicted by a mother with a rip-roaring personality disorder.

    I don't to this day know if my mother was a pathological narcissist or a high-functioning borderline of the type Lawson describes as "Queen" and "Witch" (despite the detractors, she is very careful to say that these terms describe symptom clusters, not individuals, and that any borderline can veer between all four of her loosely labeled types). It does not matter, as in practice there is almost nothing to choose between the two disorders and (psychiatry being an inexact science) we may learn there is no hard distinction. Like narcissists, the less self-blaming types of borderline -... Read more
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    130 of 131 people found the following review helpful
    5.0 out of 5 stars A Welcome Find, December 16, 2000
    This book is a lifeline to sanity for any child of a mother who suffers from borderline personality disorder. The first chapters dissect this complex disease more thoroughly than I've read in any other book, and the final section explains how to cope with the volatile relationships that form between mother and child. Every page contains a wealth of information that is simultaneously therapeutic and proactive. The validation that came with being able to relate to the experiences of other children living with this was priceless (as well as being long overdue). I have read dozens of books about borderline personality disorder, but none (until now) addressed the consequences the disease has on children of mothers suffering from the disorder. The book seems to focus on the relationships daughters have with their borderline mothers, but does deal with the impact it has on sons, as well.
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